I’m going to share a story that my mentor and teacher shared with me while I was taking life coaching classes. It is a perfect analogy to what most of us do in our lifetime. We grow up learning certain limitations for ourselves, by listening to our family members, childhood friends, teachers, etc… and we carry them into adulthood, where they affect us in what we think we can or cannot do in life.
In Africa there are sanctuaries, and rescues that take in baby elephants, because perhaps their parents have been poached for their tusks. So, the orphaned elephant is usually rescued and people in the circus community will go to the rescue places to purchase these young elephants.
They are then taken to a training facility. But before they can start training, they are chained to a stake, which is driven into the ground. Now the young rambunctious elephant, does not like the restraints, so it will pull and pull, trying to break free. The young elephant does not have the strength to pull the stake from the ground, but will try for a month or two. Eventually, the animal stops resisting, and trying to break free.
The young elephant accepts the fact that it cannot get loose, no matter how hard they try. When this happens, the training begins. And every night the animal is then put back on the chain attached to the stake in the ground.
The elephant becomes a full-grown adult, that could easily, with little effort, pull away and break loose, and overcome their master, but for over several months, they have learned not to even try, because they were conditioned to believe that there was no escaping. How defeating that must feel. To not know how powerful you really are. To give up the fight and give in to what others want for you.
Sound familiar? How many of you are that elephant chained to a stake? Afraid to pull away. Chained to a job that you despise. Chained to a relationship that you can’t find love. Chained to a life feeling defeated and weak.
Limited beliefs can stop you from living the life you were meant to live. You have been told you will never amount to any more than you are today. You will never be rich. You will never be successful. You will never find anyone better than the one you are with. We settle. We stop resisting. We give up.
I am here to tell you that you have the power and the strength to escape your miserable life. You are not what you were told you were by your family, or friends growing up. You are not replaceable, or just a number, as your employer treats you.
You deserve a love that is dripping with respect and inspiration. A love that sees the many things you are capable of doing. All your talents, and gifts. Not someone who tries to keep you under their thumb.
We have spent our whole lives up until now just trying to fit in and be accepted by others. We hang with a certain crown, because we think we are like them. We date, or marry a certain person, because we think they are compatible to who we think we are. We do the certain job, that we are told that’s all we are capable of doing. We make a certain amount of money, because we do not believe we deserve more. Our beliefs are not fact. This life is all we have. Yesterday is gone, and tomorrow is unknown. Today is all we have to live. We need to break free and do what moves within our souls. We need to learn what we’ve always wanted to learn. To live where we’ve always wanted to live. To be with someone like we’ve always dreamed of. We need to show our children how amazing this life is. All the possibilities it holds. Not just show them how to survive with what we are stuck with. Why? What are you doing? Please! If not for yourself, do it for your children!
They are like the baby elephants, chained to everything you are telling them. They are watching you. They are learning how to love from you. They are learning how to be adults from you. We have all made mistakes in our lives, and somethings we feel like starting over isn’t an option. We are in too deep to change anything now. But that’s just a lie that we tell ourselves. Because we are afraid. We are afraid of what others will think if we ditch the life that we’ve been living and try something new. Who cares what they think! Get out of your head! You need to try. You might fail. But you try again. You might not get there as fast as you want, but you will be doing it. Someone once said…”do what you need to do, until you can do what you want to do.” See that job, as just a vehicle to get you to where you want to be. Something you just have to do for the money, until you can do something else. Start saving. Start some classes. Start creating. Start working on that idea you had years ago, but were too afraid to start. If it is impossible to live with somebody and do this, then guess what….tell them this is happening whether they like it or not. Otherwise…there’s the door. Nobody is your master, except God himself. And even he gives you free will to choose what you feel is best for you. Fuck them.
You have the strength of an elephant. You have the power to unlatch the door. You can do this. You always could.
The Musings Of An Angry Woman 