I am going to share with you, in this episode, the things that you can avoid and the things you need to expect when living with a narc. We can’t always just walk out the door at any given moment. It takes planning. It takes preparation. And until then, you need to take action in making your life a little easier for you. It is your responsibility to survive. There are some hard truths that you need to accept. Because your life will never be what you thought it was going to be when you first fell in love with the narcissist.
HOW TO LIVE WITH A NARCISSIST (without losing your shit)
Pick your battles and learn to save your breath.
In other words, if it is not detrimental to the life or death of your relationship, then learn to just let it go. Narcissists will only twist everything around and put the blame on you or someone else. Do not give them the ammunition or the enjoyment. Lower your expectations. You know, like healthy conversations, romance, respect, to just name a few. He/she will never be the love of your dreams. The fairytale will never happen. Be honest with yourself and quit breaking your own heart. It is what it is. If you accept this life, then accept the brutal truth that comes with it.
Avoid controversial conversations.
You can’t talk about anything happening in the world today. Do yourself a favor and don’t even watch the news with a narcissist. They really don’t care about anything going on any way. They will just use the discussion as fuel to make you feel bad or looking foolish for thinking the way you do. Stick to talking about the weather for the day, or what is for supper. If you like to gossip about other people, they will definitely be into that.
Work on your independence.
Save money and budget your finances so you are not totally dependent on them. The narcissist loves to throw their generosity in your face. They will constantly remind you of all they do for you, and how you wouldn’t survive without them.
Make some friendships.
You will need strong friendships to meet your emotional needs. Because you will never have that with the narcissist. They won’t care about anything that doesn’t directly affect them. You will need friends who will laugh and cry with you without judgment. You don’t need several. Just a few true-blue souls to lean on when you need it. Embrace self-love and self-care. Find a hobby. Something to occupy your time. Learn to love yourself unconditionally the way you want it.
Do anything possible to give yourself happiness and pleasure.
Exercise, spa days, manicures, yoga, reading, music, etc. You need to make your own happiness and stop expecting the narcissist to join forces with you. It will never happen.
The reason I give you these words of advice, is because sometimes we have no choice other than to live with a narcissist. We don’t want to give up the other things that we have in life that we may share with them. Leaving a narcissist is hard. Traumatizing and right down exhausting. They will stalk you for years. And in their minds will always consider your relationship workable and possible…if you would just quit being so difficult. To survive is the ultimate goal. Trying to chance them will be detrimental to you alone. You have to rely on yourself. It is no small task, but easier sometimes, depending on your situation, than cutting yourself off from them altogether. The best revenge you could ever give to yourself is to not lose your mind like they want you to. They want you to “lose your shit” so that they can call you crazy and make you totally dependent on them for everything. So don’t do it. Don’t give them what they want. Be your own hero. Don’t worry…they won’t even notice.
The Musings Of An Angry Woman 