Now that I’m older, I have noticed more and more how couples who have remained married for 20+ years, seem to never speak to each other. Seriously! You’ll see them out together at a restaurant and the only time they say anything is when they place their order. They sit through the whole meal in complete silence. They rarely look up from their plate at all. How is this possible? How can two people remain in a relationship if they have nothing to say to one another? Easy.
We don’t have to fill every empty moment up with noise. We tend to talk excessively when we feel nervous or anxious. But the most important thing I’ve learned over the years, is the power we hold when we refuse to respond. The power of silence. The perfect relationship is one where you feel content to say nothing. We don’t have to comment. We don’t have to explain ourselves.
I think of all of the wasted words I lost on someone who wasn’t at all interested in what I had to say. The narc just loves the sound of their own voice. They are the only ones who have an opinion on anything. Your opinion will most surely be deflected as soon as the words escape your lips. They simply don’t care! Any one who thinks differently than they do is an idiot. They can’t wait to prove you wrong. They will debate and argue until you finally regret saying anything. So don’t! It is an art to remain silent. But you can do it! Save your colorful conversations for those that will listen and absorb what you are saying. Stop giving your attention to someone who doesn’t even notice you in the room.
The comments that are purposely spoken to trigger you. Ignore. The little remarks that belittle you under their breath. Ignore. No reaction is a reaction. The greatest weapon you will have in your arsenal. Stop fueling their twisted mindset with things to use against you. You’ll thank yourself for it.
The Musings Of An Angry Woman 