I Don’t Need Your Help

I have to tell you the funniest thing. So recently we’ve been hit by a snowstorm with wind and extreme cold temperatures. I shoveled 3 times yesterday to keep ahead of it. I was out there at 9 o’clock last night, so that it wouldn’t be so bad this morning. I was out there this morning at 6o’clock cussing into my scarf covering my mouth. At exactly 9am…. guess who shows up with his snowblower?

Here I come to save the day! Only it was hilarious. I open the door, waved my hand and mouthed to him “you don’t need to do that, it’s already done”.

As he went up the street, pushing his snow blower into the wind, I did feel a twinge of guilt for being so nonchalant about the whole thing. But I’m sure everybody that did drive by during that brief moment, probably thought ” Oh look how nice he is to her yet, even though she moved out on him and told him to go to hell”. Don’t give the narcissist the chance to put on a show for others. Take care of your damn self.

The narcissist only does a good deed, expecting for it to be repaid. Stop giving them fuel for their sick and twisted games. Take care of yourself and quit asking them for help. And when they show up in front of an audience pretending to be the knight in shining armor, don’t be afraid to shut them down in public. As a matter of fact the more you do this, the less they will put on a show.

Take yourself out of the equation. Apply the no contact rule. Only show up where they are if there are other people around. Never, ever, put yourself in a situation where you are alone with them. Take away their power, and get yours back.

I recently met somebody. There were no primal sparks there but it was fun to sit down and have a conversation with somebody of the opposite sex. Two hours blew by, and we were still talking. It was wonderful! You can sit down with a member of the opposite sex and have a conversation. You can express yourself and share things amongst each other. It doesn’t have to be a battle of the sexes, or end up in bed.

I sensed him at the end of the bar seething while he watched us. I’m sure it bothered him to watch me smile and actually have a good time. I was completely sober too! I ended the night with a handshake and told him he knows where to find me if he ever decides to come back, and walked out the door.

And before I get accused of just doing this to make him jealous, our convo started at 8pm, and he didn’t walk in until 9:30.

I later heard from the bartender that night, that he was jealous as hell. He kept asking who that “guy” was, and to make it all so much better, the “guy” looked at him on his way out the door and acknowledged him by saying goodbye and calling him by his name. Hilarious!!!

I love the fact that I am in control by not drinking, and he knows that I will not let my guard down sober. All he can do is send me drunk text messages when he gets home. Which of course, go unanswered. I will never again be in room alone with this man. I always make sure I have an audience. And it just kills him.

The narcissist cannot do their damage in front of others.

I’m on the right track and every day is getting better and better. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, and I am determined to get there and bask in it!