Recently, I was told that I have two personalities. I act differently when I’m working, in contrast to being off duty and socializing on a bar stool. Well I should hope the fuck so!
I’m sure the person didn’t mean any harm, yet took every opportunity for it to be known that I am much more outgoing when I’m off duty. I cannot get over the audacity of some men, yes it is only the men that comment this shit, to critique a woman on her actions, work performance, attire, and hair and body appearance. In hind-sight I should have retaliated with ” and do you perform at work like you do sitting here?” Forgive me for taking my job seriously, and not giggling over every empty compliment you give, outside of your wife’s earshot.
This same person, has recently retired, but has started his own business. He is obsessed with the look of his future business cards. He wants everything to look perfect. I don’t know how to break it to him, but nobody is going to hire you based on the look of your business cards.
When you live in a small community, your words, actions, and work ethic is your business card. I don’t care how good of a job you do. People are going to remember who you are from meeting you, or hearing about you. Let me give you an example. There are some people who have recently become involved in a multi-level marketing business platform. It is an all natural, organic, and health conscience product. They are all over Facebook and Instagram with their promoting tactics. They do their best to grow their company and recruit new customers. I’m all for change for the better. I am also pro small business. I commend these people for taking the plunge and going all in…only they left out an important ingredient in their recipe for success. They are not what they are selling.
I am aware of all of the toxins that they put in their bodies when they are not in front of a camera. Because they act like no one is watching or listening when they are out and about. Take yourself seriously. The only way you are going to convince anyone is if your actions match your words.
I have decided to take myself seriously these days. I have not been drunk, privately or publicly, in 2 months. I still have a glass of wine, or a Carbliss whenever I’m out, but have only one and go home. It has been liberating! To wake up feeling energized and alive! To be able to drive a vehicle home instead of stumbling in the dark, hoping I don’t fall down, or get attacked by someone. I have found so much power in myself. I have control over what I do. I’m not judging anyone for having a good time. But for me, I have had too many good times, and now I am ready for my next chapter.
Now, I’ve never gotten drunk, or sloppy at my job. EVER. I take pride in my job. I see to everyone’s enjoyment. I make sure nobody comes between them and their relaxation and fun. I keep the peace, and keep the good vibe going on my shift. How can I work with money if I am intoxicated? How can I efficiently serve people waiting for a drink, if I’m walking around in a daze behind the bar? Even though I am the manager, I work as if I just started the job. I am an example to the other employees under my care. I cannot expect them to do anything that I cannot do myself. I stock the coolers, and make sure the bar is ready for the next person coming in. Just like I expect them to do.
I am a damn good bar manager. I love my job, and it shows. I take pride in it. But, as an author and spokesperson on self-respect and a more fulfilling life, I cannot be taken seriously if I’m a sloppy drunk on the opposite side of the bar either. I am my own advertisement. I preach on how to take control of your life, yet I let alcohol rule mine for the last 20 years. I thought I had to be drunk to be outgoing. I thought I had to be drunk to be friendly. I thought I had to be drunk to be noticed. Oh, I was noticed alright… for all the wrong reasons.
You cannot live two lives and expect others to only see the one you are forcing on them. People aren’t idiots. Show me your actions. Show me your work. Show me how you act when no one is watching. Don’t try to sell yourself. That is just making you look like a desperate fool. Don’t tell me I need a healthier alternative to my cleaning, or beauty products, while you are sipping booze and smoking cigarettes. Duh!!
We have so many choices in our lifetime. Being authentic should be one of them. I have survived a narcissistic mother, husband, and friend. I know the two sides that certain people can hide from everybody. You can’t fool me. And why would you want to? Why do you have to be someone you are not, just to make money? If you want to be who you say you are, then be it. Thoroughly. Don’t try to sell me something that you aren’t doing. Become your business card. Maybe you should put as much effort into yourself, as you are in your business logo.
I have learned that nothing has to be perfect before you start a new adventure. It will all fall into place in time. You will learn as you go. I think there is a quote that says “if you wait for the perfect time, it will never happen”. The first step in starting anything is you. How will it affect you. And how are you going to make it happen? By being something you are not? By selling a product that you, yourself will not invest in? Are you willing to become the product that you are sharing?
Take the time to “fix” what is broken, before you try to convince others they are broken. My new motto in life. What’s yours?
The Musings Of An Angry Woman 