Do Better?

As of lately, it seems like every time I log on to Facebook, or Instagram, I am met with posts that state the phrase “Do Better”. I am somewhat disturbed at some of you out there, and your definition of the word “better”, and why YOU feel it is needed. I guess the question is, who is being affected by our “better”?

Are we to do better in your eyes? So that others speak highly of us? Are we to look acceptable and up to their standards? Are we to even care what others think our capabilities are, and whether or not we are using the utmost effort into bettering ourselves? Since when do other people know us better than we know ourselves? Are these same people, just as careful with their efforts while in your presence?

Be careful of the “people pleasing” trap. It is sometimes disguised as self-improvement. Are you happy where you are at this moment? Are you content with the way you are living your one and only life? Are you comfortable and satisfied? Are your needs met? Then, why do you care whether or not you are accomplished in another’s eyes? The reality is, you will NEVER be good enough by impressing someone else. I don’t care how saintly you act in public, because there will always be those who are set out to slander you and tarnish your shine. But, you know what? I love my imperfections! I love my aged patina that my armor has taken on over the years. I believe it makes me even more beautiful, real, authentic and priceless.

Be careful of those that are always pointing out your sins, while ignoring their own. The people that are never satisfied, no matter how hard you try. The bored people, sitting on the sidelines that are too afraid to do anything with their own lives, so they make it their job to scrutinize yours. Do better…hilarious!

I say “have accountability”. That should be our daily motto in life. If you are going to have the balls to do it, or say it…then own it! Act like it is your decision, which it is, and stop playing the victim. Stop passing the blame onto reasons why you couldn’t do it. Or even try. If you fuck up, who cares! Own it and start over for YOURSELF.

Every goal, self-improvement, or change in your life should start with you and only you! How is it going to better your current situation? How is it going to make YOU feel? The only “payback” that you should expect, is to be better than you were yesterday. That’s it! Baby steps. It doesn’t happen all at once. Enjoy the small changes, because they are going to make the big change happen one day. One minuscule difference in your daily routine is all you need. It doesn’t have to be visible to everyone else. Just you. Then just keep adding to it every day until you can see the finish line up ahead in the distance. If you can feel and see the small changes in your life, then you are on the road to success and fuck what everyone else thinks! They don’t matter.

There is no time-frame that is fitting for everyone. Some will think your steps towards your personal progress should happen sooner than it does. But they aren’t the ones living through it. They are not putting in the work. They are not sacrificing anything by watching you do it. Their opinions should not hinder your efforts. Anything done in haste has more of a chance in including errors or mistakes that you will regret later. Take your time. There is no time limit!

I have been on a self-improvement journey since 2020. I was 55 with 4 grandchildren. I had a good job that paid the bills, but decided that I wasn’t where I wanted to be in life. Sure, I liked where I lived. I was happy with my children, and my friends. I was content in being single. But I just felt as if something was missing. So, I started writing. Then my writing turned into a blog. Then my blog turned into a podcast. Then the podcast turned into three books, with a fourth being written as we speak. I am in awe of what I was capable of accomplishing in just four short years. Four years that feel like a lifetime ago. Am I on the best-seller’s list…nope. Am I rich…nope. Am I known world-wide…nope. Does everyone in my hometown even know what I have accomplished…nope. Who cares! I did it for me and it feels fantastic! I will not quit and go back to living the way that I was back then. I am moving in a forward motion and that is where I will continue to go. Why do you think a horse wears blinders while racing? So that they are not distracted, or stressed out by the movement around them. That will only slow you down. You should only be looking at the track before you. Not at the people on the sidelines or the person running next to you. Straight ahead is the only route you can take. Go through it head on with no apologies. Do it your way and it’s going to happen. You just have to believe in yourself more than others believe in you. Fuck their better. Your better is “better”.