Bitchers and Fixers

I am 58 years old. I have been married twice. I have raised three children. I have escaped the narcissist, on more than one occasion. I would like to say I am somewhat of an expert in the field of life experiences. I have used these experiences to publish three books. I have taken horrendous situations and have turned them into a positive. Am I patting myself on the back? Yes!

In my existence on this earth, I can pretty much categorize people in only 2 categories…BITCHERS or FIXERS.

Let me elaborate. There are those that sit on the sidelines with their smug sneer and watch in disbelief as you attempt to make this earth a better place. How dare you have the audacity to improve your life, by actually attempting something, other than complaining about it! As a bitcher, you are expected to devalue everyone’s accomplishments and ridicule their process to others around them. But, you have to do it behind the person’s back. You must wait for an audience of mutual bitchers to join in on the fun, before you voice your negative narrative. You must be the loudest person in the room to assure that everyone around you can hear your disdain and disgust.

As a “bitcher”, you must turn a derogatory comment into a joke. That way your disrespect is skillfully disguised as a humorous comment, and not an act of hostility. You must not lift one finger, or use any physical exertion to do anything to fix a problem. You must maintain your position by sitting on your ass, and let someone else deal with the problem. Do not, under any circumstances, act as if you might have an idea that may help in rectifying the situation. In doing so, you may risk falling out of your category, and defecting to the “fixer” side.

I deal with these people every day. They bitch about their job. They bitch about their kids. They bitch about their health. They bitch about their financial situation. They bitch about their relationships. They will bitch about what they eat and drink. They will take a perfectly content situation and turn it into a bitching session, as to get the attention they demand. As if their words are meant to be heard. Their importance on this earth will be noted by their loud opinions of others. Shut the fuck up!

I love the “fixers” in this world. The people who make the best of any situation, even though it is hard to find any good in what they are dealing with. The “fixers” will realize that a change is needed. Unlike the “bitchers”, they will change up their daily routine, because the one that they are living now isn’t working for them. They will not live their life on repeat, in the hopes that there might be a different outcome.

The fixers will use ingenuity and creativity in their life. They are quick to give a helping hand, or an idea that may help. They are also complimentary to others. They will accredit someone else and not ridicule for an attempt. Even when it fails, they will surely thank you for trying.

The fixers will not bring up all your past failures in life, as to make you look less of a hero. They will commend you on your survival, and boast of how far you have come in your trial and error. The fixers will avoid negativity and not associate with the bitchers. They do not wish to hang out, or sit with those idle people. Because in choosing to do so, they risk becoming closed minded victims. The bitcher has lived through it all, and has earned the right to ridicule, and treat others with disrespect. They have seen the world from their bar stool, and have earned the right to dish out sarcasm. How dare you call them out on it!

The fixers will enjoy every event, or special occasion with dancing and laughter. The bitcher will complain that it is too loud, and no one can hear them bitch. How dare people have fun! Don’t they know how miserable I am? The bitcher will find that one thing that isn’t quite working, and exaggerate about it. Oh my god…it’s going to ruin everything! They have a way of making any bad situation worse than it is. They require drama, then bitch that there is too much drama. It just doesn’t end.

I realize that we cannot escape the bitchers. They are everywhere. So, as a fixer, I can either make the choice in ignoring unsolicited advice from these people, or engage in their destruction. I choose to ignore. By ignoring their stinging words, and giving them no reaction, you are discrediting them. They have no importance in your world. And why should they? What have they done? Ever? They ride on the shirttails of fixers, and give no credit when things turn out for them. All they will do is dwell on all the hardships along the way. How the fixer was foolish in their choices, and could have done things better.

Why would someone want to work a job they hate going to every day? Why would someone want to stay in an abusive relationship, just to say they lasted longer than most? Nothing comes from nothing. When someone complains to more than one person, about the same thing, they just want attention. They do not want to solve the problem. That would give them nothing to talk about. It’ s always someone else’s fault that they are in the situation they are in. The bitcher cannot be held accountable for their life. They have done nothing, but sit on their hands. How is it their fault?

Bitchers love to watch all the horror and violence on social media. They share all the gore any chance they get. They can’t wait to talk about a natural disaster, or act of violence they have seen on the local news. They live to plant the seeds of despair, or anxiety into your heart and mind. They will preach fire and brimstone. They will predict the end of the world every time something extraordinary or unusual happens. Ridiculous!

Here’s to all the fixers in this world, that are making it a little easier for us. Here is to all the hope of the future that they bring to the table. Here’s to them taking control of their lives, and attempting to find peace and harmony amid all the chaos. Here’s to the sound of clapping and not cynical laughing. Here’s to not having to be an asshole, just to get attention. I am proud to be a fixer. I am proud of the life I have created, by my many failed attempts. I am a winner. I am a participant in life. I am a survivor that is diligent on helping others survive too. So, why are you still over there with the bitchers? Come over to our side. It’s a lot more fun over here!