Christmas Memories

I have been alive for 4 months shy of 60 yrs now, and I have quite the collection of Christmases under my belt. Some magical, and some not so great. Just like all of you, I’m sure. Every year we build ourselves up to the most celebrated day in history into being unforgettable. And it works. Whether it is a happy day, or a day of misery, it is most likely unforgettable.

When I was a little girl, I would look through my yearly Sears mail order catalog and circle everything I thought I wanted with my pen, in the hopes of unwrapping them at Christmas. When the day finally came, I don’t recall ever receiving anything I had circled. It didn’t matter. Because everything I thought I wanted, disappeared from memory and I was ecstatic with the gifts that I opened anyway. And that is what exactly happens. We think we need certain things to make our holiday magical, but when the day actually comes, we find ourselves satisfied with what we have. Maybe that in itself is the “Christmas Miracle”.

Some prefer white lights, some prefer color. Some prefer a real tree, and for some, artificial is the only way to go. Some prefer a ham for dinner, but for some turkey, or lasagna will do for their feast. Some get dressed up in their best outfits, while others spend the day in matching pajamas. Everyone has a different strategy in making their holiday unforgettable. But when the day is upon us, all we really remember are the people we spend it with. Who is sitting next to you at the dinner table? Who is gathered around the tree handing out the gifts?

As you grow older, you start to remember bits and pieces that you didn’t recognize at the time. Like the songs that were softly playing on the radio. The smell of the roast beast wafting through the air. The warm chuckles coming from the kitchen, as the women gathered to help in the preparation. The sound of the game on TV and the whispers of children trying to guess what was in their package under the tree. I remember hiding upstairs in a bedroom, while listening to someone downstairs stomp their feet and ho ho ho like Santa Claus on Christmas Eve. I remember coming downstairs and seeing the living room aglow with burning candles and colored lights in the darkness. I remember the smell of bayberry and pine. I remember seeing my mom and dad secretly smile at each other at what they had accomplished. And when it was all over, I remember feeling empty and sad. We had to wait another whole year to do it again.

I think the build up before Christmas is more exciting than the actual act. The visits to church during Advent. The shopping downtown at the decorated stores and malls. The carols sung at your school program, or on your kitchen radio. The hard candy in a pretty glass dish. The Christmas cookie sprinkles all over the kitchen floor. The beautiful decorations that adorned every corner of your town. Walking out the door on the last day of school before winter break. Digging in the attic for all of the decorations stored in dusty totes and boxes. Those two weeks before Christmas held more magic than anything I have yet to experience in my life. I never wanted it to end.

My children experienced everything as I once did. I continued the tradition of making the build-up the most magical part of Christmas. When the day arrived, it was like something out of a movie. But is that what they will remember? How hard mom and dad worked in order to provide the magical moment? Probably not. But they will remember who was sitting around them while opening presents or eating Christmas dinner. They will remember how the house smelled and all the sounds of family gathered together.

What sounds are you providing your children this Christmas? Are they going to remember laughter, or anger? It really does matter. If you need to fake it, then do it. Because that is what they deserve to remember on Christmas. That is what makes it magical. Not the lights. Not the food. Not the presents. It’s the mood. The warm and safe feeling of being surrounded by people who love you. That is the gift that they will try and repeat in their own lives one day.

I wish every one of you a healthy and warm holiday. I wish every one of you a safe and peaceful holiday. I wish every one of you love and affection. If you cannot find any of this in your life, then you need to gift yourself with the Christmas you deserve.