I don’t know about you, but I have become the type of person that if I don’t remain steadfast and driven on a particular project, I lose steam and interest. I used to be the person who had many irons in the fire, but was able to get each project ironed out in no time at all. But now I dwell on one subject at a time in order to finish. Is it age? Or is it finally realizing that things can get done one day at a time.
I find myself living in the moment more and more, and not filing through the many open windows of my mind’s computer as I once did. Just one subject at a time. Oh sure, everything still weighs on my mind. I lay down at night and think about everything still left to do. They are not forgotten. I just politely usher them to the back of the line until the problem at hand is solved.
Life is too short to worry about how fast you can get things done. How does that song go? “I’m in a hurry to get things done. I rush and rush until life’s no fun.” I can still do it all if I wanted to, but I’m too tired at the finish line to enjoy anything else. What kind of life is that? I’m tired of being tired.
We all have jobs to do. Daily household chores, to keep us from living in our own filth. Our employment, that keeps the food on the table and the roof over our heads. Our daily schedule, full of engagements that we are told we have to attend for family and friends. By the time the sun sets low in the sky, we are too drained to think of our own needs. What do we want to do that we are too tired to attempt? It seriously has to stop. I find I have more things to do on my days off than when I’m working. How does that happen? A day off is for relaxation. To refuel. Just because I’m not chained to my job, doesn’t mean I am available to do everything everyone else wants me to do.
I have started to say no. It is liberating. Just NO. Sometimes I don’t even give a reason for saying it. Just NO. I am becoming stingy with my time. An introvert at heart, it is easy for me to bypass social events and stay home. The home that I have meticulously made my heaven. It is my safe place full of the things I love. I pay good money to live there, so forgive me for wanting to enjoy it every chance I get.
I have had many hobbies over the years. Playing piano, painting, crafting, cooking, baking, decorating, etc. I have always tried to squeeze everything I can into my time here on earth. Writing has been a love of mine for only the last ten years or so. I have always enjoyed writing poetry, and song lyrics when I was thirty years younger, and now, I find the need to write the thoughts and opinions I have developed over the years down on paper. I realize it is of no importance to anyone other than myself. And that’s ok. It’s just something I have the desire to do for my peace of mind.
We need to stop ignoring the things that make us feel human. We are not robots meant to work and perform until someone decides to pull the plug. Pay attention to the little voice inside your head asking you to do the very thing you have always wanted to do, but make yourself too damn busy to do it. Let something go and make room for it. Scratch something of that list of things to do. It’s not going to kill you or anyone else if you miss that party or don’t get the dishes done until morning. In fact, it might just make your life more enjoyable, and add a few years. Looking forward to something every day can lengthen your life. It makes even the most mundane tasks seem bearable because you know you’ll eventually be doing the thing you love to do.
When planning your daily schedule, write in your hobby. Give it a time slot. You don’t have to wait until everything else is done first. You’re not Cinderella for fuck sake. If it’s important to you, you will make time for it. If it’s not, you will make excuses not to do it. Live without guilt. Reward yourself daily. And for damn sure do the things you WANT to do, and not just the things you have to do.
The Musings Of An Angry Woman 