Road Trip

As I sit here completely sober on this 4th of July, I am reminded of the complete uncertainty
that we face on a daily basis. Why am I thinking about life’s uncertainty? Because I’m
sober, and I’m an over thinker. Our lives are a complete mystery. Even for us living through
them.
Oh sure, we have some control over how we live. I mean, we can choose what foods to eat
and how we treat our bodies. We can exercise and be active. We can stop putting toxins
into ourselves and live “clean”.
We can go through all the careful steps of choosing the right partner, who is compatible
with our way of living. We decide on how many children we want to bring into this world and
how to raise them.
We can build our dream home, designed to fit our every need. We decide where we want to
reside and live out the rest of our lives.
We go to college and prepare for the career we choose to work for most of our lives. We
can take years to plan every detail with meticulous effort and in a minute, watch helplessly
as it all falls apart. Our lives can literally crumble in less than a day. So, in reality…are we
really in control?
Knowing this, we still have the power to keep going. Our country is currently in turmoil from
all the hatred that breeds from ignorance and fear, yet I still choose to celebrate our
nation’s birthday. That is a choice I make.
I can drown my life sorrows in alcohol, or weed for a temporary fix, but choose to live my
life with eyes wide open, so as to not destroy the real-time events happening around me.
That is a choice I make.
I have shitty health insurance, but it is all I can afford, so being 61 years of age, I have
decided to watch my diet and exercise more. I also quit drinking in the hopes of prolonging
my good health. That is a choice I make.
I have a trail of unfulfilled and unhappy relationships that I have currently ripped the band
aid off, as to see them for what they really are…an unwelcome distraction that keeps me
from living the live I search for. That is a choice I make.
I can keep all this to myself and act like nobody really cares but choose to share in the
hopes that others are feeling the same and want to know that there are others out here
faced with the same fork in the road, in not knowing what their next step should be. That is a
choice I make. I make these choices because I know that only I have the power to keep my life in DRIVE. I choose to drive through all the uncontrollable shit that can happen without notice. I can
drive fast, or I can drive slow. It’s not a race. We all get to the same finish line in the end.
I look back on my life, and I see a long twisting single lane road filled with many things
cluttering the lane. Debris that I have purposely placed in the way, and also some that just
simply fell out of the sky. It’s not a pretty drive, but I can stand here today and say I drove
through all of that and still got here today. I made the choice to keep driving. To keep
searching. To keep recalculating my driving directions to get me to my destination. I made
the choice to keep it in drive, even though my better senses were screaming “put it in
park”. Just quit and be satisfied with where I was, because this was as good as it gets.
WRONG! Parking is never going to get you anywhere. You can enjoy the scenery from a
moving vehicle. Just learn to slow down.
Choices made, whether wrong or right, give you the power. Sure, life can shit all over your
road map, but you are still in the driver’s seat. You have your hands on the steering wheel
and decide on how you want to maneuver through all the detours that pop up. You have the
power to draw your own map. See your life as a road trip. Because that is exactly what it is.
A trip to an unknown destination. Scary as hell, or an invitation to a once in a lifetime
adventure you will never forget. This is your life. You make the choices and stop giving
someone else the steering wheel. You can do it solo if needed. Better to drive alone than
with an unhappy backseat driver. Happy Fourth of July and may the God you pray to bless
every one of us.